I also worry that I will be that lone old lady sitting on a bench feeding pigeons. I don't mind the bench or the pigeons, but I'd like someone to be sitting with me. My friend circle has gotten very small in the last 7 years of caring at home for a mom with dementia—my free time is limited and I rely on social media to keep up to date with them. I make an effort to call and chat or Facetime when I'm free - walking, cooking, and so on. I have lots of peripheral friends, who I enjoy and can talk to. Enjoy, Talk, Depend on. Good definition.
Absolutely, Jodi. I also think that just us being aware of how important our friendships are to us is a big part of the equation. The fact that you're putting forth that effort in the small amount of free time that you have shows just how important.
I love this post and feel a lot of the same things. Friendships are hard to cultivate midlife, for some reason, and I attribute it a lot to "busyness." But they are so important.
Thanks Allison! I agree busyness is a big part of it. I think, for me, I'm trying to catch myself when I allow all of life's obligations to overshadow my friendships. And I remind myself of how nourishing my friendships are to my wellbeing-- that usually kicks me out of the "I'm too busy" mindset.
What a thought provoking article! I’ve recently had to let some friendships go and though it was hard to do, it was necessary. I like your suggestions on fostering the relationships I really want to develop.
I'm glad you liked it. 😊 Navigating these relationships isn't always easy but I really have benefited from reminding myself about who it is I truly want to spend time with.
This is so important and beautifully said, Nicole. I love the idea of the friend audit and 100% resonate with your current ‘decline plans’ strategy. 😂 It’s such a thoughtful way to build meaningful friendships and on top of the enjoyment it sounds like it’s good for us in all the ways. I’m going to do this! Thank you for the inspiration and deep friendship!
10/10! If you haven’t already would love to read - The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center - and continue this discussion.
This is so powerful and thoughtful, Nicole! I feel emotional reading it... probably because I really resonate with it. You're so honest about your fear, and I can hear your hope at the end. It's not easy to let friendships go. There's courage in that though. I think it's best for everyone when we make more aligned choices. I feel so grateful to have you as my dear friend!
Thanks, my friend! You're right, it isn't easy. I'm a big talker in this piece, I hope I can follow through with all the changes I want to make. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend.
I just shared in my latest newsletter! :)
Thank you!
I also worry that I will be that lone old lady sitting on a bench feeding pigeons. I don't mind the bench or the pigeons, but I'd like someone to be sitting with me. My friend circle has gotten very small in the last 7 years of caring at home for a mom with dementia—my free time is limited and I rely on social media to keep up to date with them. I make an effort to call and chat or Facetime when I'm free - walking, cooking, and so on. I have lots of peripheral friends, who I enjoy and can talk to. Enjoy, Talk, Depend on. Good definition.
Absolutely, Jodi. I also think that just us being aware of how important our friendships are to us is a big part of the equation. The fact that you're putting forth that effort in the small amount of free time that you have shows just how important.
I love this post and feel a lot of the same things. Friendships are hard to cultivate midlife, for some reason, and I attribute it a lot to "busyness." But they are so important.
Thanks Allison! I agree busyness is a big part of it. I think, for me, I'm trying to catch myself when I allow all of life's obligations to overshadow my friendships. And I remind myself of how nourishing my friendships are to my wellbeing-- that usually kicks me out of the "I'm too busy" mindset.
What a thought provoking article! I’ve recently had to let some friendships go and though it was hard to do, it was necessary. I like your suggestions on fostering the relationships I really want to develop.
I'm glad you liked it. 😊 Navigating these relationships isn't always easy but I really have benefited from reminding myself about who it is I truly want to spend time with.
This is so important and beautifully said, Nicole. I love the idea of the friend audit and 100% resonate with your current ‘decline plans’ strategy. 😂 It’s such a thoughtful way to build meaningful friendships and on top of the enjoyment it sounds like it’s good for us in all the ways. I’m going to do this! Thank you for the inspiration and deep friendship!
I'm so glad it inspired you! And thank you for liking my somewhat cowardly declining plans strategy. 😆 Love you, friend!
10/10! If you haven’t already would love to read - The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center - and continue this discussion.
I'm in. Just added it to my book list and plan to prioritize it. 😊 You've read it already or no?
Not yet! On waiting list at library. But think it might be super relevant!
100% ! I'm excited to revisit once we've both read it. 😊
This is so powerful and thoughtful, Nicole! I feel emotional reading it... probably because I really resonate with it. You're so honest about your fear, and I can hear your hope at the end. It's not easy to let friendships go. There's courage in that though. I think it's best for everyone when we make more aligned choices. I feel so grateful to have you as my dear friend!
Thanks, my friend! You're right, it isn't easy. I'm a big talker in this piece, I hope I can follow through with all the changes I want to make. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend.
🤗🤗🤗