Midlife Identity Loss, Burnout, Anxiety, and Loneliness.
I have an idea.
Two weeks ago I was thinking about the last year and a half of my life and how lost I had been feeling. At 43 into 44, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life. I felt a loss of identity and fear that “this is it.”
Now, four months shy of 45, I realized that I’m feeling better. And I wondered why. Part of it was learning about and treating my perimenopause symptoms. I also prioritized nurturing my friendships and dedicated my time to people that I felt connected to, supported by, and in-sync with.
Both of those were biggies and really made a difference. But there was more to it than that. When I really sat with it, I realized something else that had an enormous impact on my evolution—creativity.
I prioritized doing creative things like mosaics, drawing, fiber arts, and micro-story writing even though I had no interest in or intention of making them a career. They not only didn’t bring in money but they cost me money, and I wasn’t particularly talented at any of them. I just made things. I got lost in the process, time flew by, I played and I didn’t care if any of it was “good”.
It was about the doing of it, not the result of it.
And in making this a regular part of my life (even though I was having a loss of identity, purpose, and career), I found myself happier, less anxious, more excited, and open to possibility.
Apparently, there is a word for this— it’s our creative well-being, which is “the state of wellness achieved through engaging in creative activities and expressions.” It encompasses our physical, mental, emotional, and social well-being. Sounds important.
Creative well-being is powerful, apparently. Which is great. But it’s also a privilege. A lot has to come together for most people to be able to tend to their overall well-being, let alone their creative well-being.
In my situation, I live 4 blocks from a non-profit, non-credit neighborhood art “school” where they offer a long list of classes for adults. Most are a commitment of six to eight weeks which isn’t a problem for me since I don’t have any caretaking role other than for myself. And they come with a price tag of $300+, an expense that I am able to afford in order to make sure I’m rounding out my wellbeing practice—a luxury to many.
Sure, anyone can grab a Sharpie from the junk drawer and doodle. But most of us, especially those who aren’t “artists”, need structure— direction, instruction, permission.
So, yeah, privilege. These things are not true for all, or even most, people.
But do they need to be? Could creative well-being be something accessible to many?
That’s when it clicked. I have been looking for direction in my life and career and now I think I’ve found it.
What if Revel + Verve became an online creative well-being studio for women in midlife and beyond who are looking to carve out some time and space for themselves.
Why not create a space that is low-cost, easy-commitment, and no-pressure for those of us who just want some time to ourselves to play, think, indulge, and see what’s possible? A place where an instructor gives you a creative assignment. Where you don’t feel like you’re wasting time but taking some of it back for yourself.
What if we had classes like collage, origami, calligraphy, blackout poetry, creative journaling, drawing and more?
What if it wasn’t about being an online art studio but being an online wellness studio—that focuses on helping us use creativity to find direction, connection, and fun?
Creative practice was like medicine for me. I didn’t realize it at the time but it helped me dig myself out of the muck. I kept thinking about how much I loved taking these classes but I didn’t really think too much about why— which it turns out is because through a creative practice I unknowingly brought myself back to having an identity. To feeling less stress and anxiety, more connection and fun. I laughed at how terribly I sketched a pear, I chatted with other women while sloppily embroidering on scrap fabric, I delighted at the ridiculous micro-story I wrote about a stuffed animal.
It all brought me back to myself. It woke me up. It tapped into something I had lost— something I think a lot of us lose along with our childhood. I can’t imagine that I’m alone in this.
Like any savvy business-owner, I started with my gut feeling and then needed to back it up with some research. Turns out, I’m on to something.
Here are some of the problems that research tells me a lot of us women in midlife are facing:
Stress + Burnout: Multiple family/work roles in midlife lead to chronic stress. This correlates with fatigue, sleep problems, and mood symptoms.
Anxiety + Depression: Midlife shows some of the highest depression and anxiety rates among all age groups. Women in their 40s–60s often cite feelings of sadness, irritability, or overwhelm.
Menopause: Physical changes play a role—menopause (common in the 45–55 range) often brings hot flashes, sleep disruptions, and even memory or concentration difficulties, adding to emotional strain.
Identity Loss: Career changes, empty nest, or divorce can leave women feeling unmoored, yearning for something more. These transitions often trigger questions about purpose and self-worth. And whether mothering young children or providing elder care to parents, these responsibilities lead to a lack of time for ourselves and result in the feeling of being “lost”.
Loneliness: Loneliness peaks for many midlife women, even though we may have busy lives. A new study found U.S. middle-aged adults report higher loneliness than older adults. In practical terms, women describe feeling cut off from friendships or meaningful adult conversation.
Foreboding, huh? Perhaps, but I see possibility and solutions, and I’m excited to do something about it.
I’m very early stage over here—just starting to collect my thoughts (and yours!) about the whole thing. And I’m really interested to hear what you think.
With that in mind, if you are a woman who identifies as midlife or beyond, and have an opinion on what I just shared, would you take 5 minutes to answer 10 questions for me here? It’s anonymous. And I’d be really grateful.
I feel a wash of excitement at the thought of bringing something like this to others— and making it my career. Let’s see how this plays out.
Creativity is essential for well being! Thank you!
We are practically birthday twins - a lot of what you say resonate deeply with me and I also write about similar 🫶🏻